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Aug 01 2006

Bad Day in the Office

This is even funnier when you realize it’s real! Next time you have a
bad day at work, think of this guy. Robby is a commercial saturation
diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on
offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She
then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft.Wayne, Indiana, who
was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she
won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work,
so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it’s
not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wetsuit. This time of
year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We
have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,
which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan,
and I’ve used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I
get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down
the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water.
It’s like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out
from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it
into my suit. Now, since I don’t have any hair on my back, the
jellyfish couldn’t stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not
as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed
the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Jellyfish
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to
rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the
fire out, but I couldn’t poop for two days because my butt was
swollen shut.

So, next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now
repeat to yourself, “I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.”

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, “Is this a jellyfish
bad day?”

– Robby

bad day, jellyfish, ocean, sea, underwater, water

About the author

Timothy Haroutunian

Timothy Haroutunian is a ServiceNow Cloud Implementation Specialist at Acorio. ServiceNow is an IT Management solution that allows for a complete view of your IT and physical environment.

Permanent link to this article: http://www.armenianeagle.com/2006/08/01/bad-day-in-the-office/

1 comment

  1. sierra

    i like your pirchers

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